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April 16, 2017 / thackersam


I’m getting that antsy feeling again. That feeling of going – going someplace new. Sooner rather than later. Oh, I’ve been wondering where I should go for a very long time, considering the options. The Netherlands is always an option, but it is the only one I’ve actually physically explored and during my last visit nearly a year and a half ago, it was ruled out. (For those who need a refresher, please refer to the accompanying picture, which is the Inner Selfie I took while there, and wrote about in November of 2015.)

I am kind of a homebody, though. I never had wanderlust, and have not been to many places. When I used to travel for business, I could say I’d been to Chicago and L.A., but as those trips for my job in conference management sometimes lasted up to 10 days of all work and no play, at their ends I just wanted to go home. I saw little of the cities I visited, but I did like D.C. and Boston and if I had a friend in either, and probably a job, they would be strong contenders. I also remember Colorado Springs as one of the most beautiful places with the nicest people, but that was from 30 years ago, and the only person I know there is Lt. Joe Kenda. They do seem to have had a lot of homicides there.

But getting back to the Holland idea, there are so many things weighing heavy on the pro side, particularly lately, as they rely heavily on wind power and seem to be the masters of it (I just read that their electric trains, and not of the Lionel variety, now run on wind power), and they put out the best video appealing to trump to make The Netherlands second, which I think we should honor based on their efforts alone. They also have really great fruits and vegetables, endive is so incredibly cheap, most people speak English, I can figure out the Euro, and am familiar with the modes of transportation. And there is this apartment sitting there empty of its resident, that I can live in. But, there is that one humongous con that flings all the pros up into the air on the seesaw of life. And that con, my step-mother, is what caused that face (again, please refer to the picture). If I go, she returns, and will be my roommate in HELL.

However, I think I’d like to stay in the States. I did say, long before the unbelievable happened, that if it did happen (as I thought there was a good possibility it would), I would have to stay and fight. I’m RallyWoman after all. I attended the Tax march yesterday and next week is the March for Science. Note to self: remember to get rally shoes, not so much for marching but for standing in one place for more than an hour.

But, where to go, I wonder. I live in the hub of the universe, an experience I would not trade for the world, and can honestly say that the past five years living in Manhattan have been my happiest years. I have to chuckle at that because in that time I’ve had cancer twice, lost my oldest, bestest friend suddenly, lost another old friend of ours just months before, and have that thing with my feet that has been progressing. There have also been some awful sorrows for people who are very dear to me. But I am no stranger to extreme suckiness and anyone who knows anything about my history knows that this is just par for the course. Still, my current living environment has been very satisfying. Plus, I live in a blue state in a city where we even liked our red mayor. Bloomberg, not Rudy. I may be done, though.

Where can I vent my frustration and do my part in a fight that we can win, practically at the drop of a hat. Should I go to a red state where the fight may be less frequent but perhaps more intense? Should I go to Berkeley, where I could become Rabble-Rousing RallyWoman? Maybe just somewhere mellow, or I could find myself a smaller (and by that I mean shorter), less expensive and a bit quieter city to love. I would really like to have my own yard. It wouldn’t have to be a big yard. It could be a small back patio where Max could sun himself and I could grow tomatoes and marigolds. Some forsythia maybe.

Oh but gosh darnit, I’m afraid I’ll be stuck in the wondering phase for a while until I prompt myself to start wandering. And being a homebody, well, you get the picture.

BTW – I just started acupuncture Friday for my neuropathy. I’ll let you know how it works.

A total aside – I think it should be mandated that every movie made from now on must include a David Bowie song.


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